I hadn't been able to concentrate on anything since making the appointment days ago. Ben and I would be sitting on the couch watching tv, and I'd be staring at the screen, but I wasn't actually seeing it. It was beyond me how he hadn't sensed something, but I suppose I could have just been worrying needlessly. Afterall, it could just be stress, couldn't it?


I arose that morning just like any other, except that my stomach was in knots the moment I opened my eyes. I was filled with such dread, such nervousness, and I just wanted to disappear. But, I had done that already. This time I had to own up to my mistakes. No matter how much it scared me.


I showered and dressed, and ate as much as I could stand. The hour was fast approaching. I wanted to run and bury myself somewhere; in a deep, dark closet behind all the clothing that had witnessed my life to this point. It was a shame they couldn't warn me before I had gone ahead and done something so stupid.

Talking clothes. Really, Aimee. Get it together.


I collected my keys and stepped out onto the porch, locking the door behind me. I was trembling, and had difficulty unlocking the car door in the driveway. Closing my eyes and whispering to assure myself it would alright, I tried the door again.I seated myself inside and turned the ignition.

I wanted nothing more than not to have to do this. I couldn't. My heart hadn't healed; I wasn't ready. Would I ever be? Aiden once told me I'd grow a little stronger with each passing day. That I could be just as happy as I had been before. He was wrong, and it made me wonder how he had gotten through things. Surely I had made things a lot harder. In my haste, I had thought it was better for us. In reality it was only better for myself, but yet not. Maybe he had come to hate me.


I pulled into the parking lot and slowed to a stop on the far end. As if that long trek across the pavement would make things any better or easier. I grumbled to myself as I locked the door and approached the entrance, a soft wind coming up and fanning the flames that licked at the ends of my nerves.

I stepped through the automatic doors, a friendly looking woman looked up at me from her computer.

"Good morning," she half sang. I should have found her comforting, but instead it was quite the opposite. In fact, it meant that I was about to see a doctor... just minutes away even. Talking to this woman only made it more clear.


"I have an appointment for ten," I offered, barely above a whisper. My fingers twisted around one another, as she smiled and began typing on her computer once more. After feeding her information about my insurance and work place I was sent to sit in the waiting room.




I took a seat nervously in the first chair I saw. A man about my age was seated across from me, and for a moment I thought he looked familiar. The simple smile he offered said he was a stranger, so I searched for something else to distract me from my impending doom. He unfortunately, did not. Behind him was a raised area with soft, vibrant carpeting and scattered toys. A small asian girl happily chirped with her hands inside a dollhouse. Her parents were seated against the front wall of the building, discussing something rather heatedly in their own tongue. A new set of footsteps broke my concentration, and I realized a brunette had entered the room.


"Aimee Cutler?" she asked, and scanned the room before settling her eyes on me. I eyed her nervously, and she returned an warm smile. I rose to my feet and followed her into a maze of a hallway.

"Here we are," she said, opening a door and motioning for me to come inside. "Room twelve." I followed her in, and sat down quickly beside a low counter. She followed suit and turned to me.


"I understand you think you're pregnant?" she asked, opening a folder and looking over the contents inside. "When was your last period?"

"Roughly, about six weeks ago," I replied. She nodded and scribbled onto the paper.

"Are you regular? Had any trouble before now?" she asked, her eyes still on the paper. "Stress, change in excerise...?"

"I've been a little stressed out." I replied. She looked up quickly and crossed her legs.

"Alright then," she replied. "What's been upsetting you?"

I explained that I had gotten married without blessings from my family, and that Ben and I were spending more time apart than together due to work schedules. She nodded and smiled.

"That's perfectly understandable, Aimee," she offered. "What we'll do is have you give us a urine sample, and we'll get the results in about ten minutes."


"Okay," I forced. She rose to her feet and opened the door.

"I'll show you were the washroom is," she explained, stepping into the hallway. "There's already sample cups in there, and anything else you may need. When you're finished, just bring it back to room twelve and we'll send it off for testing." I nodded uncomfortably, and followed her through the corridor.

We arrived at the small bathroom and I quickly stepped inside, closing myself away from the rest of the world. Beside the door and along the wall was a wooden shelf, stuffed with sample cups and little wipes. I grabbed what I needed and sat on the toilet. My nerves sent me reeling, and I slumped against the wall, releasing a heavy sigh.

"I can't do this," I cried to myself, closing my eyes. "I can't go along with this now, when I couldn't have you."




After some time had passed and I'd calmed myself, I was able to do what was required of me. I returned to room twelve and placed the sample on the counter beside the sink. I couldn't bring myself to sit down, so I paced the floor. What a bad idea that was. A moment later the nurse returned and collected my sample.


"Just sit tight, Aimee," she replied, opening the door before heading back into the hall. "Doctor Weaver will be in with the results shortly." I gulped and watched the door close.

Oh my gosh, can this really be happening?

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