I’d lost count how many times I snapped back to the real world as though from a dream, having been staring into space as time quickly passed. The phone call had been on my mind again.


The man had not called me again since that night months ago, and for that I am quite thankful. I couldn’t take the fear that had coursed through me the last time and yet, curiosity. The voice had seemed familiar but then at the same time, not really. He had seemed so sad when I told him I was content here, as though it were tearing him apart. I was tearing him apart. He must’ve been in love with me. Though it must have been a secret, because I’d only really loved someone once and there was no way he’d want anything to do with me now. Not with the way I had left things.

“Yeah,” I said aloud, trying to convince myself. “He wouldn’t call me. He probably hates me.” How could he have called anyway?

Besides, I wouldn’t be so lucky as to get another chance for real happiness, now would I? Indeed, the chance had long passed thanks to a stupid decision on my part, but it was done. I had a child now and things were completely different.

I won’t lie. Since the call I’d felt less love for Ben. Every time I looked at him I felt sad. He hadn't been showing much interest in me. He didn't kiss me or hold me anymore. I knew he wasn’t who I was supposed to be with. As much as I hated to say it, my mother was right. I did hook up with the first person that came along. Because I was still hurting. I needed to bury myself in someone else to forget what I had done. And what she had done. As for Ben, he was just a selfish moron.












For a man that assured me he had quit his job to look after our son, he sure was doing a poor job of it. There’d been times I’d come home from work to find a near naked Drake lying on the living room floor –near the draft of the front door mind you, and Ben sleeping in our bedroom. I gave him hell for that, and a long screaming match ensued ending with me sleeping on the couch for the night. The Brokes must have thought we’d gone crazy. Truth be told, I almost was.






Ben’s friend Kennedy started coming around a lot as well. I hadn’t known they were friends until one day I came home to find him in his swimming trunks, sitting on my couch by himself. Ben emerged from the nursery with Drake, and introduced us. Strange fellow, but alright I suppose. It just seems odd that he spends so much time there while I’m out. There must be a shortage of work for tall, funny faced men in Pleasantview.

Tonight I just felt lonely. Drake was asleep in his room, and I had no idea as to where Ben was at. Not that I really cared. I missed my brother, and perhaps even in the tiniest measurement, my parents as well. But, I could never let them know that. They’d just use it to destroy me in a new way. I would never recover from the last incident. A large part of me was missing, and it could never be filled.


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